Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.
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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Alejandro Alex Neito With Crap

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Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Alejandro Alex Neito
StoryFollow UpWikipedia Page
Memorial For Alejandro Alex Neito

Why can't every memorial I find have a light hearted, easy to poke fun at story? Like the guy who was bludgeoned to death with a garden tool? Or the douchebag who rolled his car as he was fleeing the cops? Or that dumb bitch run over while fighting with her husband in the highway's median? Why? Why can't they all just be simple, easy to emotionally detach from stories?

Nope, every so often I find an Alejandro Alex Neito and the story is so shitty I can't even bring myself to make the amazing Dirty Harry reference that the story begs for. Nope. I mean, his death has its own god damn wikipedia page. Not a good sign. Below is the short story:

On 3/21/14 in Bernal Hieghts Park in San Francisco, Nieto was shot to death by 4 San Francisco cops who fired 59 rounds at him while he was eating his dinner around sunset. All 4 officers were ultimately cleared by a jury..

You know what, that's enough. There's more shitty details if you want to click the links and find out. Let's just get back to the fun memorials, shall we?

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Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.