There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Make Your Own Roadside Memorial
Make Your Own Roadside Memorial, Just Add Water And Trash

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If you're like me, then you're one of these sissy-assed, seat-belt wearing, non-cell-phone having, blind-spot checking, speed-limit obeying, turn-signal using, non-median crossing, undrunk yet defensive driving pussies that hasn't had a pile of blasphemous litter thrown in a highway ditch to remember you by.

Well, I'm here with good news: My girlfriend isn't pregnant. A little less good, but a little more germane: Now you too can get the publicity and pity enjoyed by the Brett Allen Herns of the world, without that not-so-alive feeling that goes with being sodomized by an 18-wheeler.

Roadside Memorial Maker
Deceased's Name:   Barrel:
Deceased's Initials:   Flag:
Message Line 1:   Bottles:
Message Line 2:   Dumbass:
Message Line 3:   Pinwheel:
Message Line 4:  

Fill in the form above to customize your own roadside memorial picture (a la the one atop this page) and start getting the notoriety that being a safe, or at least lucky, driver should command. If you have an actual roadside memorial already or caused someone to get one or just want to let me know about one I should get for my collection, use the Cross Submission Page to let me know about it.

For your convenience, use jason@porkjerky.com to send all prayers for my soul and salvation, as well as any idle threats (lawsuits, death, property, bodily harm, etc.) you need to make.
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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.