Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!
As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.

Porkjerky.com

More Fun Than Dismembering A Gaggle Of Hookers

Updates Random Free Shit R.I.P. Omniscience Register Gallery

R.I.P.->Remembering Justin Dyer & Amy Bigley With Trash

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R.I.P. Main Submit A Cross Make Your Own Roadside Memorial

Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Justin Dyer & Amy Bigley

Cached Article 1 Cached Article 2 Cached Obituary

Looks like someone decided to combine their love of Justin Dyer, Hobby Lobby, Amy Bigley, christ and ditches all at one convenient, inter-state adjacent location.

Above, I am pictured on the 7th hole of the new mini-golf course built in their honor.

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R.I.P. Main

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Have your attorney use jason@porkjerky.com when making good on your threats to sue me for being an asshole. Of course, the same guy who handled your back child support and DUI cases probably isn't the best representation in this civil matter.