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Look, no arguments: I'm a gapingly huge asshole for this site. But am I the gapingly-est, hugest, assholey-est in all this?
Not by a goatse.cx long shot. (google image that from your work or kid's computer)
You know who out assholes me 24/7/365/eternity? I can only hope to be 1/100th the asshole this prick is. Since time immoral
this motherfucker has done some of the shittiest, brutal, mind-fuckiest things to humanity. And now we can add the Brubaker
family's story to that of Abraham, Lot, Job and basically everyone else in the Old Testament that God somehow fucked over
, just because.
Let's Tarantino this thing and start at the very end, jump to the middle, then to the beginning, back to the middle and then
put a nice blasphemy callback ribbon on it to wrap it all up:
On August 4, 2008 a woman drove her car into a tree in Cathy Brubaker's front yard. The car catches on fire and
Cathy
pulls the driver from the flaming wreckage saving her life.
Flash backward 2 weeks to the spot in the picture. That's where and when another Brubaker was involved in a car accident.
This time as a fatality with no one's mother to save him. Cathy Brubaker's 21 year old son,
Ryan Brubaker died when he ran
his car into a ditch at 2:30 on a Sunday morning.
Normally, I'd make some witty and super funny reference to how he was probably part of the midnight-snacks-on-wheels charity
delivering food to the homebound. Or say something about how although it was half an hour past last call, he was probably just
up early heading to church to prepare for that morning's services. Something really witty and not explicitly saying he drove
his drunk ass into a ditch, but heavily implying it with a wink and a nod.
But with Ryan Brubaker, that might have actually been fucking true. He legitamitely might have been going to church to set
up for services that morning. He legitametly might have been doing charity work then.
1st, while I don't condone it and often rightfully mock it; Ryan Brubaker was home schooled. Have you ever met those weirdos?
They are disconcertingly nice and good people. Like in a super peculiar overt way that my secular education has taught me to be
leary of. And 95% of the time its because they are weirdly religious. Which is the category Ryan falls into because...
2nd, he attended Penn View Bible Institute. Which describes itself as a secondary education christian school. They offer 6
courses of study all of which use a religious word as an adjective-- Christian Music, Biblical Studies, Child Evangelism, etc.
What's even more telling is the words not found on the website--'College', 'Degrees', 'Accreditated'. Its the logical education
progression for hard-core christian cult kids who are homeschooled.
So, after 20 years of being a devout christian something-or-other, God let's Ryan Brubaker eat it in a car wreck in the wee
hours of the morning. Perhaps this is just one of his sadistic tests like that Abraham faced.
not for Cathy Brubaker. She just raised her son in the church, schooled him for a decade in a half, sent him to a
religious secondary school, had him taken from her in the middle of the night unexpectedly and then saved another human's life
2 weeks later showing what a good person she truly is.
The testee I'm talking about is me. This was a test from god to see if I could face true assholeishness, releaize I that
will never even be 1 millionth the cocksucker he is, but still carry on this site.
So for once, how about for once you motherfuckers consider how I feel? Then, if you still need to write someone how they
are a horrible harcissitict psychopathic asshole you send it to the real perpetrator:
Email God
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