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R.I.P.->Remembering Allison Pangborn With Litter

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Allison Pangborn
Online ArticleRichmond Daily NewsCached Obituary
Memorial For Allison Pangborn

If the war on innocent people who occasionaly smoke pot wasn't so succesful at keeping our jails full and supplying our nation with nearly free labor to clean the interstates, this would be an excellent idea. Suppose a law is passed requiring the family, friends, murderers, etc. of people who die in auto accidents to adopt and clean up the neighboring half mile stretch of road where they died. Then A: Our highways and roadways would be more clean. B: Littering would be more fun. 3: People would drive more carefully (yeah and abstinence-only education keeps horny teens from fucking). And D: It would make my job of tracking down stories to go along with these fucking pics a lot more easy.

Of course, when accidents occur in shitty rural towns with newspapers that are irregularly churned out by a housewife who bought some desktop publishing software circa 1994, the whole name doesn't do me much good.

Here's what I found out from researching Allison Elizabeth Pangborn's name: she died.

Direct all hate mail to jason@porkjerky.com and remember to attach naked pictures of your grandmother to guarantee a quick response. The more pink the better.