Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.
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That's pretty fucking goddamn close, but I don't think it's a perfect, exact replica of the cross used in The Passion Of The Christ (Movie Spoiler: He dies. Sequel Spoiler: He returns as a hard-boiled egg hiding zombie). Granted, I spent most of the movie finger banging my own asshole, but from what I can recall paying attention to, the messiah's actual crucifix was made of PVC pipe, had only 1 american flag on it, and the fake flower bouquet atop it wasn't faux crysanthemums but plastic easter lillies.

Also, the bona fide cross had pinwheels sticking out sideways from each end of its horizontal board. Finally, I know Jesus wasn't adorned with a crappy homemade necklace. He was either wearing a thorn of crowns or an 'FDNY' hat, I am not sure which one, again, finger banging my own asshole.

Other than that though, spitting fucking image. Well done, truly an honor to both the son of your lord and Tony.

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Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.