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Memorial For Ron Goins

Diabetes: The Loud Crashing Killer
Maybe...

You thought I was fucking kidding about the Kansas City Star's non-white reporting efforts. So did I, until I found these three stories about Ron M. Goins running in that shitty rag. They couldn't cover this white guy's death enough. There was the inital story that ran on the front page of the metro section and continued on a second page. The day later they followed it up with an article that contained no new facts, just a picture of the black man who caused it and speculation. A month later there was a follow up that said that they couldn't confirm the speculation. Pulitzer material.

The gist of this story is that Ron M. Goins forcibly and fatally stopped Anthony R. Williams from driving the wrong way on a highway. Unfortunately and amazingly, respectively; Roin Goins and Anthonly Williams died. That's right, the guy driving on the wrong side of the road actually bit the big one too. Granted, he took Ron Goins with him, and he had already been driving the wrong way for about a mile, hitting a total of 8 cars. But for once the guy who caused it actually perished too. How refreshing.

Why oh why was Anthony Williams driving on the wrong side of a barrier divided highway? As a follow up: How oh how did he continue to drive after hitting so many cars and for such a long distance? According to The Star's speculation: diabetic seizure, or in laymen's term a low blood-Oreo level. Maybe. While Williams was a diabetic, the test to see if you had a diabetic seizure doesn't work all that well on corpse blood.

I know what you are thinking and you couldn't be more right. Someone needs to e-mail me at jason@porkjerky.com and tell me how little my dick is and how horribly I need to die.