There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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Scott Bryant
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Memorial For Scott Bryant

Scott A. Bryant's death was brought to him by the good people at QuikTrip who would like to remind you that everytime, even midnight, is a great time to run across a 4 lane highway and enjoy a Hotzi or Quik 'n Tasty sandwich.

A lot of people don't have a mastery of logic or debate. For example, I remember watching a prelude to a cat fight where the first hoochie said to the second, "...Yeah? Well, I'm not the one who fucked those 6 guys at the party all at once because they promised to give me $20 and some meth."

And what did hoochie #2 retort with to save her dignity and honor? "I ain't never fucked no 6 guys for drugs or nothing. I ain't a fucking whore. They never gave me no money for no sex and we'd got high beforehand on weed not meth. And besides, there was only 4 of them anyway and it was just oral sex. So you just look stupid when you talk shit that you don't know nothing about.

Touche.

What I found on Scott A. Bryant, is very similar. The police said he was wearing black and walking alongside, maybe even on, a highway at 11 pm when he got plowed over by a couple of different cars. Scott's parents thought that the cops implied he might have actually committed suicide.

So, the parents, masters at logic and debate they are, told a different story. They said Scott wasn't suicidal, he was simply running across the 4 lane highway to go to QuikTrip. And to further support their claim, they say its a trip he has made lots of times.

I will let you be the judge for yourself as to who is correct. Personally, I am giving the parents the benefit of the doubt. I say Scott Bryant wasn't suicidal, he was genetically disposed to being a dumbfuck.

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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.