Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.
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R.I.P.->Memorializing Reba With Crap

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Reba
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Memorial For Reba

What a (foreshadowing pun alert...) ground breaking memorial. On this site I have roadside crosses for people not in car accidents, roadside stars of david, roadside crosses for people they've never confirmed are dead, memorials for no one in particular and now an honest to god roadside grave.

Reba is actually buried there. As Kyung Roo, my Korean dormmate, would say: I am not shitting on you.

In January 2009, Reba was found dead in Swope Park in Kansas City, MO. She died from exposure and foul play was suspected (being tranquailized somehow). She had lived at the park for a few years and was a friend to all. Since the park was her home, a city worker and the woman who made sure Reba didn't go hungry, buried her there.

Now, I know what you are thinking: "Jason, while it might not be against the law to dump their corpses there, it certaintly can't be legal to actually bury hookers in Kansas City parks, can it?". And you're right. Now I'm not saying Reba was or wasn't a prostitute (who knows what she would do for $5 and some properly placed peanut butter (more foreshadowing)), but I do know burial laws don't apply to her...

...Reba wasn't human. She was another first for this site: Reba was a free range German Shepard.

As Kyung Roo would say: Yummy.

Send hate mail, death threats and proof of your illiteracy to jason@porkjerky.com. Remember, 'Fuck you.' is a complete sentence; 'You infected ass-polyp' is just a fragment.
Are you as excited as I am? That's right it's finally here--. If you've been a good patriot this year, paid your taxes on time and belong to a cult that does smart things like make you pretend you're eating your savior's body and drinking his blood instead of stupid cult stuff like praying in a certain direction 5 times a day; then maybe, just maybe, this year Uncle Sam will slip down your chimney and leave presents under your flagpole. Be sure to set out a plate of apple pie for him and throw down some birdseed for the eight bald eagles pulling his Humvee. Thomas Jefferson bless us everyone!

As always, porkjerky.com goes dark for 9/11 so get your fill now.