There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Immortalizing Samuel Taylor Hensley With Litter

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Don't Take My Word For It.
Here Are My Sources For
Samuel Taylor Hensley
Online Obituary 1Online Obituary 2MySpace Memorial Page
Memorial For Samuel Taylor Hensley

Remember when you were like 26 or so? Missionary, in a hot tub, doggy-style, chick on top, on a football field, reverse cowboy, in a bar bathroom, a couple Twister inspired positions that genuinely made you fear for your cock, in your girlfriend's bed, but not with your girlfriend: You'd been poking pussy or having your pussy poked every where and which way for about 10 years. You were pretty proud of your creativity in the myriad of ways you had found to put a penis in a vagina. But then, somewhere around the decade anniversary of your first time, you had an epiphany that would make all your sexual acts to date look like two retards masturbating each other.

What I found for tributes to Samuel Taylor Hensley was like discovering butt sex all over again. Sure, I'm still proud of my idea to stand next to the crap people throw besides roads in a horrible attempt to memorialize their deceased loveds ones, put on a shit-eating grin and have my picture taken as I wave like a mountain dewed up special olympian. But now I know I was mere centimeters away from true genius because I've discovered a better way. Just like vaginal sex, the perfect idea was right under my balls all along.

I didn't find jack-poop about how Hensley died, just that he did. I did however find this genius inspiring photograph of another of the memorials done in his honor on his MySpace Memorial Page:

I'd Give My Left Arm For A Shitty Memorial

How sweet would it have been for me to slam the brakes on my car, put on a shit eating grin and wave like a white-trash tourist at Graceland as I stand besides shitty memorials for crappy drivers that were tattooed on some dumbfuck's body?

That would have made me a genius. Right up there with the guy who invented butt sex.

As openly a callous prick that I am, it amazes me that people still overestimate my ability to care or think that I value their opinions. Prove me right at jason@porkjerky.com.
There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.