There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.
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R.I.P.->Memorializing A Valentine Corpse With Shit

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Memorial For A Valentine Corpse

Dumbass 1:Awwww fuck. Our friend died and got done killed.
Dumbass 2:Yeah, I guess we gotta put up a cross.
Dumbass 1:Yup, and it's gonna be the best one ever.
Dumbass 2:No doubt. Let's go balls out on this one. We can put..., ummm we can have a...
Dumbass 1:Oh yeah, for sure. We'll take a..., well we could get our...
Dumbass 2:Ok, we will start with a cross.
Dumbass 1:Fucking-A, that rules hard.
Dumbass 2:Then we need to write something touching and sentimental on it.
Dumbass 1:Like 'Miss You' or 'Love You'.
Dumbass 2:Ohh god yeah. How about both? One across and the other going down.
Dumbass 1:Sweet. That rocks my nuts off. But what else?
Dumbass 2:Well, Valentines is soon. Let's do something with that.
Dumbass 1:I can steal 2 plastic sparkly heart things from the truck stop.
Dumbass 2:That fucking rules. This is gonna be so motherfucking cool.
Dumbass 1:Shouldn't we put his name on it somewhere?
Dumbass 2:That's stupid. We are already doing the plastic sparkly heart thing. Let's get started.
In Unison:Ok, but first things first, let's sniff some glue and beat each other off.

(lights dim, curtain closes, wait for ovation, then curtain call)

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I'm not above apologizing for any errors I have made. However, I'm also not above wishing AIDS and gang rape on you and your family if you incorrectly assert I've made errors. Email me at jason@porkjerky.com to point out any errors I have made. Just be certain I've made errors.
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There I was, titty fucking some random skank's nipples off, wondering if that was enough or if I needed to do something else completely pointless for breast cancer. If only there was a gesture equally as empty as wearing a pink bracelet or having a bake sale or throwing a magnetic ribbon on my car or walking with a herd of heifers for 5 kilometers. Something that would show my hollow support without taking any actual effort nor furthering the cause in any real way. Then it hit me like a ton of boobs. This and every October, porkjerky.com will go pink as a lip service tribute to breast cancer. Please follow my magnanimous example and do something meaninglessly worthless that doesn't require any real effort on your part for this great cause. Believe me when I say, it should be the least we can do.