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R.I.P.->Memorializing Cory S. G. With Garbage

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Cory S. G.
Big Mouth Billy Bass
Memorial For Cory S. G.

Jesus assfucking christ. I take it all fucking back. I was wrong. I repent. I owe apologies to tons of people because I will be god damned if this doesn't tastefully memorialize Cory S. G. Oh yeah, I was fucking wrong this whole time, but now thanks to your landfill, I have seen the light. Roadside memorials honorably commemorate individuals and immeasurably enhance the community. What an error I have made.

At first glance you would think that a bus full of toddlers rolled down that hill and squashed a legion of picnicking grandmothers. But no, Turdville was made for just one fatality. And the motherfuckers didn't even leave me a last name so I could look up how Cory S. G. became such a worthy martyr.

When I come across shit temples like this it amazes me that there are people who are amazed at products like The Big Mouth Billy Bass being so succesful in america. Seeing how this nation misplaces so much time and effort shittily memorializing our dead loved ones, it should just make perfect sense that as a whole, we are also going to buy a couple million motion activated fake fish to mount on our walls to have serenade us with "Don't Worry Be Happy". It just makes sense.

I'm not above apologizing for any errors I have made. However, I'm also not above wishing AIDS and gang rape on you and your family if you incorrectly assert I've made errors. Email me at jason@porkjerky.com to point out any errors I have made. Just be certain I've made errors.