The Ouchy Pooper 3000

A couple days ago I became mystified at why Kohler would have about 150 different flavors of commodes. Obviously our collective shitting needs are so diverse, our crapping styles so distinguishable, our pooping so profitable that toilet companies are able to target their wares to each of us so specifically that they needed to offer […]

The Secret Of My Excitebike Success

By my calculations, which are gospel by the way, people have been shitting for roughly 500,000 million years. That’s more than enough time to get good at something. In 1986 I played Excitebike for like 4 hours a day for 6 months. FYI, I got pretty fucking good. There wasn’t a trick or track I […]

Let me knock that turd of an idea out of your shit for brains.