Shitacular Blog Award

Clench your sphincters shut, slap on another rubber and think twice about raping that marmoset at the Austin Zoo. Thanks to today’s winner of the Porkjerky.com Random Time Interval Shitty Blog Award, I now know of another strain of a popular disease that’s going to kill us all. It’s a disease that the mainstream media […]

More Shitty Blog Awards

Now, I may be misremembering my teenage years, but I am pretty confident that at 16 I didn’t need to learn how to not fuck. I had that down to a fucking science, so to speak. And I was good at it too. Everywhere I went, I wasn’t fucking. But it wasn’t for lack of […]

#2 (as in ‘shit’) Winning Blog #2 (as in ‘second’)

It with great pride and regret I announce the second receipent of my ‘Whenever The Fuck I Feel Like It Shitty Blog Award’. Once you read the title you will know that it is, without a doubt, deserving of this award. However, I will still drone on afterward belaboring my case. And the winner is: […]

Shit Winning Blog #1

Black eyes, cigarette burns, broken bones, born addicted to crack, white supremacy tattoos: None of those come close to signaling that you’re a horrible parent like having a fat kid. So it is with a mediocre amount of fanfare that I bestow upon My Overweight Child Blog the 1st Random Time Interval Shitty Blog Award […]

It's the little things in life, like other peoples' self-induced pain, that give me the greatest pleasure.