Hi, I’m A Douchebag

I get queasy at the sight of blood, so please somebody please slit my wrists for me. I got an email today from some pretentious fuck. How did I know they were a pretentious fuck? They told me. Not in so many words, but in so many letters. Their email signature said something like ‘Tinydick […]

It's weird that nobody wins the lottery and then finds God. Just prisoners and alcoholics. Mysterious ways indeed.