Do You Like Pina Coladas?

Fuck you and your intellectual uppitiness. I unapologetically and without embarrassment love reality TV shows. Double fuck you to all you pretentious fucks who claim to not watch TV at all. I even love the obviously scripted reality shows—I can suspend my disbelief like nobody’s business. There’s something about knowing that people’s actions don’t exist […]

It saddens me that the most appropriate response to people like you in a situation like this has become an overused, hackneyed throw-away phrase. Although we have all heard it at least 4 times today just in passing, please allow me to say it one more time with heartfelt earnest and every fiber of my being behind it: Fuck you.