porkjerky plogBitch Better Have My Money
Was watching my neice who’s still a crawler She found some coins and gave one a swaller Hoping for diarrhea To free Sacagawea If not, that bitch still owes me a dollar.
Ballad Of The Lazy Bather
I was in the shower and couldn’t wait Getting out to use the toilet—I hate As I shampooed my hair I relieved myself there Then stomped and mashed that huge turd down the grate.
The Immaculate Defecation
What would you do if you pooped a turd divine? A religious looking crap, Is that a sign? To me it would be scary To shit the Virgin Mary Of course, in a heartbeat, I’d sell it online.
Art De Mon Derriere
I use public restrooms to show my wit Poems, drawings, etchings done as I sit. I think its art Straight from my heart Especially the landscapes, done with shit.
Rhyming Household Tip
If a cat keeps filling your yard with poo, Here’s a trick Martha Stewart won’t teach you; He can keep on licking, But closed tight, its sticking Cats’ assholes are no match for super glue
Father Knows Best
My father, who’s full of great advice and wit; Said we’re gonna talk about love and to sit. Call me old fashioned, Maybe unpassioned; Son, true love doesn’t make you eat a girls shit.
My Friend
I, umm had this friend, yeah that’s it, I-He’d been drinking quite a bit. A long, gross story short Take my-his word for it, When he-I say ‘This tastes like shit’.
Roses And My Ass Are Red, Violets Are Blue…
I once had an awesomely hairy tush A candy binge left me straining to push A turd of gummy bears yanked all my anus hairs Thus the end of my beautiful ass-bush.
Painful Poopy Poetry
A piece of shit was once in my ass A turd I thought I would never pass scratched the length of my gut, tons of blood out my butt When did I swallow a piece of glass?
Lyrics To A Simpler Time
In my teens, I once crapped in a paper bag The ingredients of a great prank I had Toss, burn, smear, and/or bake A choice I couldn’t make And, that’s why, today, my attic smells so bad.
