The Turd’s Prayer

Dear lord in heaven, Creator of all, provider of everything, giver of life and with whom I shall spend eternal bliss, I ask you to please hear my prayer today and allow this enormous turd to finally exit this vessel of a body that you have been kind of enough to bless me with. Oh […]

Almost every creature group has a name: school of fish; pride of lions; murder of crows. Almost all. To go with flocks, gaggles, covens, herds, colonies, troops, pods and blooms; I now give you the 'jason'. As in "Oh shit, the Special Olympics van just pulled up; here comes a jason of retards". I'm what you call a low self-esteem narcissist.