porkjerky plogYou’re A Dumbshit
As Creative As A Something Or Other
I was once on a job interview where the Human Resources Whore told me that in their organization creativity is a key to success and even in her position of being a Human Resources Whore, she often had to think outside the box to effectively do her job. She then asked me if I would […]
Pompous Fucks
Its about time. All my life I have been waiting for this and finally it has been delivered to me. I can now die in peace. 35 and a half years I have been on this earth and not until now could I watch some fat dude in Spokane plow his ugly wife. Amen. Humanity […]
Once Upon A Porn Star
I must be getting homosexualer in my old age. First I don’t liked shaved pussies, bleached assholes, girls struggling to put their own tits in their mouths or bicameral legislatures. Now, not only can’t I even name one porn star, I don’t care to. With that and the rate hair is randomly appearing on my […]
I Wish I Couldn’t Tell Idiots Like You To Suck My Balls
Oh its just killing you isn’t it. You know what you think the answer is and want to write me to set me straight. Well I know what you are going to say and you’re a fucking idiot too. I told you yesterday and I will say it again today: There’s no reason for my […]
Rhymes To Live By
There is no societal problem that can’t be cured by beating a shitty, trite poem into us. Click it or ticket Arrive alive, don’t drink and drive Wipe your caboose, every time you drop a deuce Ride the bus and dump the pump Give a hoot, don’t pollute No matter how inspired from the public […]
Smooth As A Crazy Man’s Arms
Is there anything more creepy than a guy with shaved arms? That’s a psychological sign. That dude’s got something wrong with him. Its like being a stripper–nothing is inherently wrong with it, but its a sympton of you being fucked up. That’s a medical fact. Ok, you want to be a porn star and do […]
The Turd Is Always Greener On The Other Side
When you’re feeling all alone in the world, standing up for what’s right against a foe incalculably stronger than you, putting the good of your fellow man above your own personal well-being, trying to affect a positive change in the world for generations to come, literally risking your life today for a better tomorrow for […]
Activia, Now With More Scam
For millions of years unenlightened people have been squatting around like imbeciles, never realizing they should be more proactive in controlling their bowels. Like idiots, past generations thought it would be fine to just leave it up to nature to decide when they shit. Never even thinking that they should force bacteria into their system […]
Shit For Brains Know It All
I have never met a fat bitch who wasn’t an expert on nutrition. When you hear a chunky chick talk about carbohydrates and ketosis and metabolic rates and onomatopoeia and saturated fats you would think she was a god damn doctoral student in biology. That’s until you look at her drooping belly, huge ass, 4 […]
Whats My Poopnosis?
Oh christfuck almighty. I’m not a normally a hypochondriac, but since 99.85% of the population currently has it, I just know I am going to get it also. And the from the looks of things, I already do. Tell it to me straight, that’s a swine flu turd isn’t it? Look at how it turns […]
