porkjerky plogSquating 4 God
Award Winning Nutbag Blog
Yesterday, in my attempt to find a shitty blog that I was pretty sure existed, I got sidetracked when I stumbled on the web’s shittiest blog search site. Today, I restruck out in search of the blog of my shitty dreams and was successful. I didn’t know if this exact blog existed, but was confident […]
Divine Copyright Infringement
Its really a god damn shame that the bible has entered the public domain. Now, and don’t put this past me, any fuck can print, copy, rewrite, publish and sell bibles without legal recourse from Matthew, John, Paul, Ringo or even god himself. It’s in the public domain, its free for the infringing. Use it […]
Where Art Thou, Billy Mays?
2 days ago we took a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about a much simpler time. A time when gasoline had lead, presidents were white, movies were either G, PG, R, or X and we were so ignorant and misinformed that we actually expected women to have hair on their cunts. How young and naïve […]
Godly Lip Service
Which is worse, me photoshopping a turd onto a cross replacing Christ or all these fucks who go to church only on Easter and Christmas? Is intentional or unintentional blasphemy worse? If I were the head of a religion I think I would find people who pretended to agree with me when it was convenient […]
TGIGF
Happy Stick Jesus On A Stick Day Remember to not eat meat and to color eggs to hide. It’s what Jesus would have done.
Of Thee I Poop
Wow, that’s some sweet ass shit. I am now an ‘S’ and an ‘N’ away from crapping my first name. And only and ‘E’ and 2 more ‘S’s from my last name. Let that be a lesson to all you kids out there. When you put your mind to it, hunker down, work a little, […]
And God Said, Let There Be Hair On Assholes
Ok, by now you’ve figured out how I know I have a hairy asshole and how I know how it stacks up to others’. Now on to the real philosophical question raised by hairy assholes. Why? If you’re a creationist, then life’s simple (real fucking simple). God put hair on our assholes—that’s all you need […]
Screwed By The Blood Of Jesus Christ
I am a dick in general. Oh, I talk a good game, write about dumbfucks and idiotards and stupid asses and retards and on and on and on. I even created an epithet generator to help others find the appropriate term to use on people they dislike. I make gratuitous, physically impossible, idle threats to […]
How Would Jesus Crap?
As much as I bitch, the web is still awesome for certain things that were eye-gougingly, ball stompingly, boring back in the day. For example, bible research. Suppose, oh I don’t know, maybe, perhaps you wanted to find out how the Bible dealt with certain subjects. Perhaps, maybe, oh I don’t know, lets pick one […]
Holy Crap
Finally a shit to be proud of. Now that’s how a real American man craps. Look at that virile turd. With shit like that obviously my dick is huge. Jesus Christ Almighty, its so enormous its starting to wrap around the god damn toilet. Yet again, I have impressed myself—and that’s no easy task. I […]
