porkjerky plogSquating 4 God
Comprehensive Blasphemy
Prepare to have your mind blown by the deep societal statement I created in my toilet. I got a page from a Koran, ripped the 10 commandments from a Torah, dropped in some holier-than-thou atheist propaganda, sprinkled in some confetti made from the Book of Mormon, dropped in a picture of L. Ron Hubbard and […]
Happy Superficial Prejudicial Atonement Week
Hannukkah is the winter Cinco De Mayo. To the majority of this country, both are viewed as important events to cultures we normally look down upon. These holidays are deemed important by us because no one gives a shit enough to learn about the history of either one of those events or to learn about […]
The Turd’s Prayer
Dear lord in heaven, Creator of all, provider of everything, giver of life and with whom I shall spend eternal bliss, I ask you to please hear my prayer today and allow this enormous turd to finally exit this vessel of a body that you have been kind of enough to bless me with. Oh […]
What Would Jesus Wipe With?
If some shady archaeologist offers to sell you a shit stained papyrus and tells you Jesus wiped his ass with it, it’s a scam. There is no T.P. of Turin. In researching my latest doctoral thesis du jour, this one covering wiping our assholes, I came to learn that we didn’t always use toilet paper. […]
Existentialism At Its Finest
You ever look up into the night sky, with those thousands of stars, light that has traveled across galaxies spanning trillions of miles taking years to reach your puny pupil, and spend a moment trying to contemplate and comprehend how huge the universe is, how small you are in comparison and wonder if at that […]
The Immaculate Defecation
What would you do if you pooped a turd divine? A religious looking crap, Is that a sign? To me it would be scary To shit the Virgin Mary Of course, in a heartbeat, I’d sell it online.
Fun With Shitty Logic
My panties get absolutely soaking wet whenever I hear someone comdem fags by saying ‘You’re not born gay’. That is the absolute best. I was on the crapper and accidentally flipped past one of the 24-hour news channels and saw some religious nutbag spouting off about queers in Iowa again and how them getting married […]
Make Up Turd
Now, I know I am violating my own HIPPAA rights with this post, but please, there is no need to worry about my health. Nor is my life endangered by being held captive and forced to shit against my will. I am perfectly fine and still haven’t crapped on a Saturday since I forced one […]
Bible Pimps
Who would have thought a blog that straight ripped off the bible for its posts would negotiate in bad faith? Well, me really. It was what I was hoping for. Well, that’s not true, I was hoping they would actually sell out a piece of their blog to me and let me post an ad, […]
This Is Not A Test
Jeez O’Christ. This will probably be the last post ever. Not for me, but for blogkind. The New World Order is taking over and I for one will be spending the Tribulation in my refashioned Y2K bunker (formerly my Rodney King Race War fortress, formerly my 12/3/90 earthquake module, formerly my father’s Cola Wars sanctuary, […]
