porkjerky plogRandom Pablum
Baby Placebos
Whenever I am out taking the dog for a shit in someone else’s yard and pass a couple, both of whom are over 30, and they are walking more than 1 dog, I always try to figure out which one is infertile. Its got to be her. The bitch has ribbons on, the male has […]
Opening Day
Message to the Team Porkjerky.com Shitters (you know who you are): Oh yeah, it’s a good day to be pounding some porcelain. Let’s put in a good workout today team. I know I know, I like to jump ass first onto the toilet like everyone else, but we need to properly warm up. I don’t […]
Sibling Rivalry
Jesus what a fucking nightmare. That’s got to be traumatic. How do you ever emotionally heal from something that crushing? That shit will scar you for life. Truly devastating. A family of 6 was held at gunpoint, tied up and then the perpetrators kidnapped a 3 year old boy. That’s horrible. That’s a life event […]
That New Asshole Smell
My aunt burned through 3 livers in her lifetime. I know a couple people who got recycled kidneys. I know a guy who knows a guy who got a cornea transplant. Saw a Discovery channel program about a baby who got a new liver, pancreas and kidney. John Wayne Bobbit got his cock cut off […]
Motivations Of An Ass Doctor
What’s a nigger gots to do to get some credibility up in this shit blog? Try as I might to get an expert to weigh in on something shitty (DNA testing dog shit, link exchanging with a spam site, non-traditional gardening, etc.), they never respond or think I am kidding. The same thing happened in […]
Proctology Apology
I really think proctologists get the shit end of the respect stick. Take that horrible pun for example. It’s so easy to make fun of them, people don’t realize that they are way up there on the doctor list. We can’t get past the surface jokes of what they do. They experience the exact opposite […]
Eureka
So, it turns out I’m still a fucking genius. How many of the world’s great ideas do you think were conceived on the toilet? My guess is that the crapper is the leading place and shitting the leading activity for inspiring brilliance. Uh oh, now my brilliance is inspiring me to be brilliant about inspiring […]
Fat Chicks, Big Tits
There are three types of fat chicks with huge tits in this world. You’ve got the boring, ‘I’m a fat chick with huge tits, big deal’ chicks, the ‘I’m a huge fat bitch but if I hide my gargantuan hooters behind a sports bra, a loose bloose, a huge sweater and then hunch over with […]
