porkjerky plogRandom Pablum
My Achy Breaky Heart
It’s a sad, sad day in the world of shit today. We all knew it was coming though, so its not that big of a surprise. But still, its never easy. It pains me to bring myself to say this, but within forty-five minutes I only heard Party In The USA by Miley Cyrus 7 […]
Retardly Awesome
I love, absolutely love the BCS system and will stick you, your fat wife and your children with a prison shank if you even think of saying something remotely derogatory about it. Like most things I love, its because its so horrible. Those pro-life nuts may be crazy fucks, but they are right, abortion is […]
The Porn Paradox
After writing yesterday’s post and rewarding myself by whacking off to girls cleaning toilet seats with their tongues, I realized The Stay Puff Marshmallow Theory of Shitty Blogs applies to pornography. Any type of pornography you can imagine, no matter how nonsensical, counter-intuitive, oxymoronic or just plain retarded, is a valid type of pornography. I […]
Tis The Season
Guess who made it that much easier for you to kill yourself? That’s right, I did. Forever you’ve been tying and retying the same piece of rope into a noose so it looks just perfect, scouting out the sturdiest place in your house to use it, going through all your chairs to find the one […]
Happy Pedophile Day Eve
My my my. Why aren’t you just the scariest little ghost. And are you Spiderman? That’s a very nice costume. And you look like the prettiest little princess ever. Oh, I am sorry, my mistake. Tinkerbell, you’re the prettiest Tinkerbell ever. Happy Pedophile Day Eve. May all your hopes, dreams, wishes and fantasies be […]
Butt Junkie
If I ever start to do drugs I’m jumping past all those pussy highs and going straight to heroin. It has to be awesome. Its transported via ass. I mean, if people go through that much trouble and ick to get some, that’s got to be good shit. Right? Any drug a person would meticulously […]
Felatio Philosophy
Which do you think is greater, the number of people who have never been on either end of a blow job or the number of people who have been on both ends of a blow job? If you could only be in one group or the other, which one would you choose?
The Art Of Shitty Art
Some of my favorite pieces of art are in office buildings. You know those abstract paintings with non-threatening patterns, safe color schemes and void of anything remotely inspiring. The paintings whose sole purposes are to break up the drabness of a melancholy office wall with a different kind of drabness in a non-descript frame. They […]
Happy Holidays
Site down for the holiday.
As Useful As Tits On A Corpse
What a great month for breast implant companies. You can’t buy this kind of marketing. But daddy, they will not only help me feel better about myself but if in case I get a quickie Vegas marriage to some violent Cannuck who bashes my head in, stabs me 75 times, rips my jaw bones out, […]
