porkjerky plogMetafeces
Cornholerows
Now, I’m not the type of guy to who likes to overly brag. I don’t casually work into every conversation how great I am (awesomely great), how huge my cock is (disgustingly, almost unusably huge) or how much of a great gift I am to the world (move over Christ, there’s a new JC in […]
Congratulations, Its A Baby Turd
Now, I don’t want to get all Dead Poets Society on you, but isn’t a change of perspective awesome? Take just a second, stand back a little and look at the picture as a whole. Try not to see the shit or the toilet paper or pissy water or the porcelain. Just see the shapes. […]
Fucking Shit
Baby, we’ve been together 6 wonderful years now. We know and love each others’ families. We click on so many levels. You have always been there for me and I have always been there for you. Now, I am a little nervous asking this, but I think our relationship has gotten to the point where […]
Ballad Of The Brown Eye
There once was a huge turd in my rear Little brown bitch was going nowhere I got super pissed Grabbed it with my fist Pulled liked hell….until I felt a tear
Diarrhea Can Kiss My Rosy-Red, Black Ass
Diarrhea gets a bad rap. From Latin, it probably literally means “soupy poop”, which inherently isn’t bad. I mean, so my shit isn’t solid. As the teeny boopers are fond of saying these days: Big fucking deal. It’s not like I am showing it to the world trying to impress everyone by having solid bowels. […]
Burn Your Asshole Shut
Continuing on with my scarred cock. Isn’t circumcision awesome? I mean really, my mom could have taken 9 seconds everyday out of her lazy whore life to properly clean me, but instead deemed it better to chop a piece of my dick off. I know what you are thinking and you couldn’t be more wrong. […]
Rectum? It Damn Near Killed Me
Here’s a sentence that will blow your fucking mind: This crap scared the shit out of me. Yeah, wrap your feeble brain around that for a minute. Times up, onto the poop. I was fine until I grabbed the camera. From this side of it, it seemed like an average crap. Everything came out alright, […]
Bigger Buttholes For All
How far along did the Human Genome Project advance our ability to play god? Can they actually do anything with it yet, or is it like a read only CD? Can they make changes or do they just know what’s gonna happen based on DNA with no ability to modify it like they want? I […]
Best Friends Forever
Here’s a picture of me with my new best friend: Edwin Von Fecalton. Tell you what–we weren’t friends at first, in fact we had quite a disagreement. He wouldn’t budge, I wouldn’t budge. So there we sat for at least half an hour. Finally, after we warmed up to each other and realized that the […]
Shitonyms
Fuck rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens. These are a few of my favorite things: poop turds shit crap dung guano doo doo duke feces excrement droppings manure ordure stool poo poo deuce #2 crapola diarrhea doodie ass bum butt derriere tush rump bottom posterior patootie rear gluteus maximus duff fanny […]
