porkjerky plogMetafeces
Tushy Von Heineybottom, M.D.
I like to think that somewhere, somehow, someone’s life was saved by an overzealous proctologist. A guy who serendipitously comes upon a person with an as yet undiagnosed medical emergency of their butt. And because of the overzealous proctologist’s knowledge and immediate action the guy is saved from an agonizing and eminent death. Unfortunately, I […]
The Perfect Shit
Here’s a holiday mystery for you Scooby. What’s missing in the above picture? Give up? Here’s another hint. Subtract 1 from that and there’s your answer.
The Poo That Keeps On Giving
The giving continues. First I open this blog and regal you all with wonderful anecdotes about my shit and how blogs suck. Then I create a crap calculator so everyone in the world can calculate theirs or another’s lifetime shit production. Next I start a shitty social networking project by swallowing, shitting and reintroducing into […]
Sludgey Fudge Factory
As this shitty blog draws to a close I swear to Mohammed I am not trying to short change you. There is a turd in that toilet. One came out of my butt at any rate. I sure as shit had to wipe my ass. In fact that’s were the majority of that turd ended […]
Eureka
As I was crapping today, racking my brain as to what I was going to write, inspiration about inspiration struck. When it comes to inspiration, sunsets on tropical islands and newborn babies have nothing on staring at the linoleum while pounding out last night’s dinner. How many revolutionary ideas have been first conceived while pooping? […]
The Secret Of My Excitebike Success
By my calculations, which are gospel by the way, people have been shitting for roughly 500,000 million years. That’s more than enough time to get good at something. In 1986 I played Excitebike for like 4 hours a day for 6 months. FYI, I got pretty fucking good. There wasn’t a trick or track I […]
Internet Shit: How Much And What Type
I don’t think there’s any way to tell who crapped the first turd picture onto the internet. The Neil Armstrong of internet shit pics if you will. The guy brave enough to go, ‘Hey, I should share with the world an image of one of my bowel movements‘. That guy was a genius. Right up […]
The Crapalypse
I should probably have sought legal advice before posting this picture. I’m sure this is going to be used as evidence against me at my trial. I’m definitely sure I’m violating my Miranda rights on this one. What I did to that toilet can’t be legal. Tar black, smelling of death, hot as hell and […]
The Miracle Of Turdbirth
Some times, when the lighting is just right, you situated yourself in the correct position, the stars line up perfectly and you’re willing to get a nose full of ass; you can watch the turd you are crapping inch its way out your butt. Its like watching the miracle of childbirth without any of the […]
Picture This, Everyone Else Has
By my count, including this blog and the image I use for invalid pages for this site, I have added 259 pictures of shit to the internet. And that piece of shit high school English teacher said I’d never contribute anything to society. He’s looking pretty stupid right about now. 259 images of my shit–Quite […]
