porkjerky plogCrapometry
Activia, Now With More Scam
For millions of years unenlightened people have been squatting around like imbeciles, never realizing they should be more proactive in controlling their bowels. Like idiots, past generations thought it would be fine to just leave it up to nature to decide when they shit. Never even thinking that they should force bacteria into their system […]
The Speed Of Shit
Good news boys and girls, its time for another edition of the shitty applications of science. Today’s subject: the speed of shit. Is it faster than a speeding bullet? Quicker than a (insert your favorite ethnic slur here) in a (insert place that ethnicity doesn’t like to be)? More speedy than a bolt of lightning, […]
Science Fair Blogging Project
Purpose: To see how many times in the history of blogging it has got someone laid. Hypothesis: Not once, in the history of the internet has a guy gotten pussy because of his blog. Procedures: Google exact phrases that would verify someone has gotten laid/blown because of their blog. Then, verify each returned citation by […]
Crapology 101: Thermodynamic Equilibrium
Science fair time is coming soon kids. Let today’s crap be your inspiration and I am sure you will bring home the blue ribbon or gold medal or star trek uniform or whatever worthless crap they are giving to kids who have no friends and suck at sports these days. What’s the melting point of […]
How Much Crap Could A Crapper Crap…
Let’s do some back of the toilet paper roll math: To give myself a margin of error, lets say I reached shitting maturity at age 10. All other turds before that will not be included. This will ensure all the numbers derived below are fairly accurate, and most likely underestimates. OK, here goes. Tomorrow I […]
