porkjerky plogBlogs Suck Ass
Yeah, I’ll Trade Links With Your Shitty Site
I’ve owned and had some semblance of a shitty site up at porkjerky.com for over 13 years now. Every week I get some offer to exchange links with the biggest and bestest site in the world, a real up and coming site that’s going to take over the net. And every time it’s a new […]
Shit Winning Blog #1
Black eyes, cigarette burns, broken bones, born addicted to crack, white supremacy tattoos: None of those come close to signaling that you’re a horrible parent like having a fat kid. So it is with a mediocre amount of fanfare that I bestow upon My Overweight Child Blog the 1st Random Time Interval Shitty Blog Award […]
The Cirlce Of Shit
Now, I may be dating myself (possibly date raping myself if I don’t willingly give it up—of course have you seen how I dress? I’m usually asking for it) but remember in the mid-90’s when everyone was getting rich by selling phone cards? Well, maybe not the rich part, but everyone was selling them. Hawking […]
138th Shitty Thing About Blogs
Oh man, I thought of something super shitty about blogs. As usual I won’t just be bitching about it, but doing it. This porkjerky plog classic originally ran 8 days ago. Enjoy. Look at that. That’s some mighty fine shitting my friends. That turd’s going up on my refrigerator. It doesn’t happen often, but when […]
Things Blogs Suck For $200 Please
Son of a retarded rapist, blogs suck my unwiped ass. I spent most of today trying to whore out my plog: submitting it to blog indexes, setting up links that notify certain services when I make a new post, sending out spam and a whole bunch of other boring shit so that I can successfully […]
Money Over Bitches? That’s Crap
The biggest problem I have with the state of the internet is that it reflects change. The world isn’t the same place I grew up in. The worst part isn’t the technology or fancy new phrases or that damn hip hop and roll music, its a fundamental shift in what we value as a society. […]
Self-Fulfilling Shitty Blog Post
Oh man, my birthday post is going to be awesome. I am working on it now and its sweet. Super duper mega kick ass awesome. The kind of awesome that’s illegal now because it has been shown to grow cancerous tumors the size of papayas in lab rats and because of the terrorists and because […]
By The Hair On My Rectum
Three days in and I already faced my first moral dilemma with this shitting blog. Ok its half past 11pm, I haven’t turded all day—do I try to squat and thrust one out so I have something to post? Do I show a picture of my empty toilet and profusely apologize for not being able […]
“Why Does The Web Suck”
With today’s crap I sat and pondered ‘why does the web suck?’. Then it struck me like the cold water from the black splash of a crashing turd. No wait, there was no like about it–that’s exactly what happened. That’s why I won’t shit in publicly accessible bathrooms. How horrible would it be to get […]
The Shit Hits The Web
Welcome to my addition to the ongoing, worldwide project of bringing the web down upon itself. Remember when the net used to be useful and worthwhile? Google used to work. Ads didn’t cover 90% of a page and links weren’t paid to be everywhere, but were there because they lead to more useful stuff. Sure, […]
