porkjerky plogBlogs Suck Ass
The Null Blog
Oh Sweet Lord Almighty Fuck. I did it, I finally found a blog better than the one post wonders who have had the glorious distinction of winning a Porkjerky.com Intermittently Bestowed Shitty Blog Award. What could be more shittier than a blog that someone took the time to set up, make only one post and […]
CNN, The Reverse SETI
CNN is a smoke alarm with dying batteries. Except less useful, more annoying and neither saves your life nor adds anything meaningful to it. Remember the last time the batteries in your remote went out? You did what any normal person would do, you lived with it for the first couple of days by making […]
Masters Of Shitty Blog Administration
You got assholes in with my douchebags. No, you got douchebags in with my assholes. Its bad and then worse, all at the same time. Like puking all over yourself. Like nails on a chalkboard while you are chewing on tinfoil. Like the doctor accidentally crushing your nuts during your rectal exam. Like dating a […]
A Shitty Cocksucking Blog
After embarrassingly admitting I have never learned a porn star’s name, I decided to do what any decent human being would—I went out and got a favorite. Her name is Cora. And I don’t know which is better, her blog or her cocksucking. Unfortunately for her, I don’t give out Porkjerky.com Shitty Cocksucking Awards so […]
Watch Me Watch
Good idea retardfuck, lets see exactly how far we can beat this into the ground. This is my reaction text to your reaction video of other people doing stuff. Hopefully someone will have an interpretative dance reaction to my reaction text to your reaction video of people doing stuff. Then, god willing, to that interpretative […]
Many Super Happy Respects Upon Your Blog
Is there anyone sadder, more pitiful than motivational speakers? I use both of those adjectives in their literal senses with no mocking intention at all. That will come later. Sad as in the, ‘I am going to cry because I am unhappy’ way. Do truly happy people devote that much of their lives trying to […]
Blogarrhea
Oh god, its mutated and jumped, infecting a population we thought couldn’t get it. This is horrible. This might be the end of all media as we know it. Critical mass isn’t far off. Soon every communication will either be blogging or about blogging or about about blogging. We thought we had it contained. Sure […]
Amazingly Amazed
I am amazed at my ability to be amazed at how shitty blogs are. I started this whole crappy section of my site as a tribute to and an example of how horrible blogs are–My whole fucking premise was that blogs suck shit. However, week in and week out I am actually awestruck when I […]
Here’s What Else You Get – Shit
Good news, you can own your own Porkjerky.com Erratically Awarded Shitty Blog Award winning site. Today’s prize-getter is for sale. That’s actually how I found it. As I was sitting at the computer splattered in my own semen and fingers smelling of poo, inspiration struck. I wondered if any fuck was retarded enough to sell […]
Prima Facie Shitty Blog
Twitter has a blog. Thats like finding out the skanky girl in high school who you hated because she was such a bitch turned out to be an anal porn star who flaunts and lords her misachieved popularity over people who are disgusted by it. Technically its not changed anything, you just feel a little […]
