porkjerky plogBlogs Suck Ass
The Blogs That Wouldn’t Die
Motherfucker damn it shit cock piss whore. This is why I will never go on a horrendous mass killing spree. You can’t spend months and years, wondering if McDonald’s is the right hamburger joint to shoot up, planning what day to do it on, researching what caliber machine gun to use, contemplating if breakfast or […]
Award Winning Worthlessness
I’ve explained the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man Shitty Blog Theory before: if you can imagine a shitty blog—it’s already been created. Here’s a quick example off the top of my head: a blog about vegan pets. It’s so shitty I am certain something like it exists. And 15 seconds later, I found that it does: […]
If A Tree Fell In The Woods, How Many People Would Blog About It?
Is there nothing too mundane or trite to blog about? “I am going to the store”726,990 blog posts “I just got off work”219,771 blog posts “brushing my teeth”722,396 blog posts “cunt turd ass booger”1 blog post “going to bed”30,888,602 blog posts “my new hair cut”172,353 blog posts You really believe the world needs a boring […]
No Son Of Mine
I’m like most people, I’m not a huge bible thumper—unless and until it suits me. So that’s why I’d like to take the moral high ground, cast some aspersions and say that some things are just wrong. Jesus didn’t die on a cross and hide all those eggs for nothing. He wanted to give us […]
I Got Your Voir Dire Right Here
Oh thank you Al Gore. Ambulance chasing has entered the 21st century. Not with a whimper but with a blog. You can’t fart without hearing an ad for a parasitic attorney. They’re everywhere: telephone book covers, bus benches, every other ad during daytime T.V., all over the not-so-local alternative newsweekly that’s owned by a billion […]
Blog Fraud
Just because you’re a blog doesn’t mean you can get away with such outright misleading of people. What a fucking rip off. I have a good mind to contact the FCC about this blatant fraud. At first I thought I had finally found a community of like minded individuals. A place where I get stay […]
Free Shit For Sale
Remember 15 years ago when we all sat around making fun of those dumbfuck companies who were selling bottled water? God damn, we were so smart and prophetic. Who in their right mind is going to pay money for something you can get free? What a retarded business. Bottled water. Those dumbfucks will be broke […]
Psychic Rotisserie Chicken
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to them. The Porkjerky.com Shitty Blog Award Number Something Or Other goes to the Free Psychic Sight Blog. What a shitty fucking blog. First and foremost its not really a blog, but a fucking spam garden. As in the site exists solely to sell something—psychic readings. Every post has […]
Altruism For Sale, Dirt Cheap
The one thing that never fails to bring a smile to my face when it comes to blogs is how quickly they get sold out. No matter how altruistic the topic or noble the intentions are when they get started, everyone tries to make a dollar from the shit they puke onto the internet. Somewhere, […]
Pork Barrel Blogs
Here’s a scary question I’m afraid to know the answer to: How many blog do my tax dollars fund? I’m cool with all the 3rd World abortions, nuclear bombs, bridges to nowhere, bank bailouts, public schools and murder of foreign brown people my taxes underwrite, but blogging? May Thomas Jefferson’s undead corpse have mercy on […]
