porkjerky plogAuthor Archive
Internet Economics: Supply, Demand & Assholes
Is there a lower form of life than domain squatters? Homeless, war criminals, hepatitis infected meth whores, MBA students, vegans, chiropractors, and pedophiles don’t really hurt anybody. Yes, they are all disgusting waste of humanity who contributes nothing to society (hey, who does?), but they aren’t crapping up the internet like domain squatters do. For […]
Make Up Turd
Now, I know I am violating my own HIPPAA rights with this post, but please, there is no need to worry about my health. Nor is my life endangered by being held captive and forced to shit against my will. I am perfectly fine and still haven’t crapped on a Saturday since I forced one […]
Rhymes To Live By
There is no societal problem that can’t be cured by beating a shitty, trite poem into us. Click it or ticket Arrive alive, don’t drink and drive Wipe your caboose, every time you drop a deuce Ride the bus and dump the pump Give a hoot, don’t pollute No matter how inspired from the public […]
It’s Not Electric, Boogie Woogie Woogie
Bad news everyone, I live in the fucking 3rd world. Flies are walking all over my face and I am either too lazy to swat them away or maybe I don’t notice them or maybe with all my fucking problems flies on my face don’t even register as an issue. My stomach is distended from […]
Categorical Shit
Amazing. Hippocrates, the father of medicine, died almost 2380 years ago. The oldest medical school in the United States is 11 years older than the country itself. In the last 20 years trillions of dollars, milllenia of man hours and countless other resources have been employed in medical research. But somehow, someway, the most basic, […]
Bible Pimps
Who would have thought a blog that straight ripped off the bible for its posts would negotiate in bad faith? Well, me really. It was what I was hoping for. Well, that’s not true, I was hoping they would actually sell out a piece of their blog to me and let me post an ad, […]
Blogarrhea
Oh god, its mutated and jumped, infecting a population we thought couldn’t get it. This is horrible. This might be the end of all media as we know it. Critical mass isn’t far off. Soon every communication will either be blogging or about blogging or about about blogging. We thought we had it contained. Sure […]
Amazingly Amazed
I am amazed at my ability to be amazed at how shitty blogs are. I started this whole crappy section of my site as a tribute to and an example of how horrible blogs are–My whole fucking premise was that blogs suck shit. However, week in and week out I am actually awestruck when I […]
Smooth As A Crazy Man’s Arms
Is there anything more creepy than a guy with shaved arms? That’s a psychological sign. That dude’s got something wrong with him. Its like being a stripper–nothing is inherently wrong with it, but its a sympton of you being fucked up. That’s a medical fact. Ok, you want to be a porn star and do […]
A Boy, His Anus And A Dream
Finally, after months of perfecting my technique I did it. My hours of practice, dedication and my innate abilities have finally paid the dividends I knew they would. Success is mine. Let this be a lesson to all you kids out there about hard work, setting goals and following through. You can’t just sit around […]
