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Proctology Apology

I really think proctologists get the shit end of the respect stick. Take that horrible pun for example. It’s so easy to make fun of them, people don’t realize that they are way up there on the doctor list. We can’t get past the surface jokes of what they do.

They experience the exact opposite of the gynecological myth. By that I mean, everyone thinks being a gynecologist would be the best, when in fact its probably the exact opposite. People forget that doctors generally don’t see healthy people. Everyone thinks they just sit around looking at pretty pussies all day, jerking off every 15 minutes. The truth is they spend most of their day looking at pretty pussy (as in ‘puss-filled’) pussies, washing their hands and trying to not let the nasty ailments they saw burn into their memory.

The cobbler’s son has the worst shoes and the gynecologists wife has the least eaten pussy. Being a gynecologist would actually suck in that respect. Kind of like loving hot dogs so much you decide to take a job on the factory floor of Oscar Mayer, only to lose your appetite for them once you see how they are made. Same thing with gynecologists and sex.

Proctologists though, know what they are getting into isn’t the most enviable nor respected type of physician. Yet they do it anyway. And its not like just one thing can go wrong with your butt, they have to be on their toes and deal with a lot of shit.

There’s hemorrhoids, fecal incontinence, anal fissures, butthole transplants, prolapsed rectums, 3 or 4 types of butt cancer and because they literally are on the ass end of the body, they get all the symptoms of other diseases not in their specialty but which they have to diagnose anyway because someone came to them with blood in their shit, sore asshole or anything else that is a result of something going wrong upstream.

Think about how much it would take to have you spend 8 hours a day working on people’s filthy, sick asses. Would you do it for $200k a year? You would have to probe them, take shit samples, listen to them tell you how, what, where, when and why their butts hurt and that’s your job. I don’t think you could pay me enough.

Then to top that off, realize that to get that job that’s so ass-centered you would have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for training and spend at least 7 years of your life learning about butts.

So to bring this full circle, in closing, proctologists are the shit.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.