Diarrhea Can Kiss My Rosy-Red, Black Ass

Diarrhea gets a bad rap. From Latin, it probably literally means “soupy poop”, which inherently isn’t bad. I mean, so my shit isn’t solid. As the teeny boopers are fond of saying these days: Big fucking deal.

Diarrhea Dontcha Make My Brown Eye Blue

It’s not like I am showing it to the world trying to impress everyone by having solid bowels. So I shit liquid. It’s actually better.

Let’s look at this pragmatically. I have had all 4 of the major states of matter come out my ass (solid, liquid, gas, and plasma–don’t ask) and by far liquid is my second favorite. Once done your clean in 2 wipes at most. It’s the shit that cleans up after itself. Diarrhea is nature’s bidet.

Listen to others though and when you hear them talk you would think it’s the devil’s feces. People associate liquid poop with being deathly sick:

Oh, no I had diarrhea, feel my forehead and see if I had a fever. I need some Sprite and saltines. Jeez I better start making a will and telling my loved ones how much I care for them. Oh jesus, why me? Anything but this. Oh lord almighty, not diarrhea. I am too young.

Fuck that shit. I don’t let my crap tell me how I feel. And most often after a squirty session on the toilet, I feel fine.

To quote my niece’s 2nd grade soccer coach: ‘Quit being such a whiny bunch of cunts and man up’.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

Comments

No comments yet.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Please employ Biblical Rationalization when reading Porkjerky.com. Everything I say on this site is the 100% absolute literal truth to be taken exactly as I typed it. Unless of course it can be undeniable proven incorrect, in which case I obviously did that on purpose and my writings are allegorical.