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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Burn Your Asshole Shut

Continuing on with my scarred cock.

Isn’t circumcision awesome? I mean really, my mom could have taken 9 seconds everyday out of her lazy whore life to properly clean me, but instead deemed it better to chop a piece of my dick off.

I know what you are thinking and you couldn’t be more wrong. I’ve had this discussion and while my dad was as complicit as a German Protestant in not stepping in and saving my foreskin, it truly was my mom’s decision.

God forbid she wipe the inside of my dick clean. Jesus fucking Christ, what a travesty. I mean thank the good fucking lord above that surgical techniques were advanced enough in 1974 to chop dickskin off so that a little smegma was prevented. What a god damn godsend to lazy, age of Aquarius mothers everywhere. No need to properly clean and take care of your newborn son–we can cut the part we don’t like off.

As I was pounding out today’s poop, I thought, ‘Why stop there’? Hopefully we will be able to apply what we have learned from circumcision to other areas of our bodies that need to be cleaned regularly. That is why I pray that someday, somewhere they invent/perfect a surgical technique that will burn everyone’s asshole shut. I mean come on—how many mothers are currently wiping babys’ asses clean? And that stuff isn’t just dick cheese–it quite literally is shit.

We overcame and nearly eradicated dick cheese. The ending of shitting has got to be viable. Some sort of cauterization, suturing or rectum trap to help make lazy mothers lives even more easier.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.