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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Single Mother=Shitty Fucker

Continuing on from yesterday’s theme and tomorrow’s holiday…

You know who I feel bad for this time of year—single mothers. Have you ever meet one? If your not sure the answer is no—because those cunts are proud of the term and drop it every chance they get. Never have I been in a situation that required someone to disclose both their relationship and parental status at the same time. Hardly ever have I been somewhere where even one of those stati has been germane. But anyone who is both single and a mother always finds a way to work it into whatever conversation they are having.

Its like their horrible fucking abilities is a badge of honor to them. And ‘fucking’ in the prior sentence is used as a gerund, not an adjective. Let me dumb that down for you further: anyone who is a self-proclaimed ‘single mother’ figuratively sucks at literally fucking.

Either A: They are unable to pick a good partner that would make a suitable father yet fucked a guy and got pregnant anyway; or B: They suck at fucking and can’t do it without getting pregnant. Either case, whenever I hear a whore describe herself as a ‘single mother’, I always think—‘poor fucker’, in the most literal of sense.

Worse than their horrible sex skills, these bitches are like old people: They want both your pity and respect for their lives. Old people always tell you how better and harder the past was, and single mother’s want to remind you how hard they have it and how great they are for plodding through the horrendous conditions fate brought them. Newsflash motherfuckers, my pity and respect are mutually exclusive—you can have one or the other, not both. And odds are you’re getting neither.

So, whenever I hear some skank tell me she’s a single mother—I always ask her if she’s coming on to me. I mean why else bring up the fact that she’s single? Every time she describes herself that way its like she’s throwing herself upon any man in voice range to let him know of her desperation.

Which leads us back to where I began (good god damn, I’m a good writer). This and every Valentines Day has got to be the 9/11 of single mothers everywhere. A day of remembrance, feeling sorry for themselves and gratuitously boasting about how blessed their lives are in an attempt to lie themselves into happiness.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.