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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

The Poo That Keeps On Giving

The giving continues. First I open this blog and regal you all with wonderful anecdotes about my shit and how blogs suck. Then I create a crap calculator so everyone in the world can calculate theirs or another’s lifetime shit production. Next I start a shitty social networking project by swallowing, shitting and reintroducing into the currency supply some dollars. A couple days ago I gave up all my hard earned intellectual property rights by posting a shit pic on Wikimedia for the world to use at it pleases.

Does my generosity know no bounds? Can my altruism be stopped? What kind of noble endeavor will I undertake next?

Today, I am cowboying up, getting r done, creating awareness, paying it forward, embracing diversity, honking for jesus and thinking of the children as I make lemonade out of lemons, because that’s how I roll. I just changed the image on the ‘Human Feces’ article of Wikipedia to the picture of my shit from a few days ago.

The one that had been accompanying it was, pardon my French, a load of shit. Actually, judge for yourself, here’s the old image that was attached to the Human Feces article. As you can clearly tell, it’s a little too perfect. Who shits in perfectly coiled crap on the lip of the commode?

A big fat feces faker that’s who. Look at the consistency of the shit in the old pic—it’s a little too homogenous, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t, here’s the Wikipedia article on ‘Homogenous’. Not only is that shit placed a little too perfectly, it’s a little too perfect in its substance. Its soft, but not runny. You can see its made of different materials, but those materials are almost perfectly and evenly spread out within the turd.

I called bullshit on that shit and decided to fix it.

I could not in good conscience let people genuinely interested in learning about poop think that that poop was how they should be shitting. I won’t let Wikipedia turn into a fashion magazine, giving people impossible, staged and airbrushed images to try and live up to.

So, while my shit may not be of uniform consistency, perfectly coiled at the lip of my toilet, my shit is in fact shit. Behold it, lumps and all. I refuse to sugar coat my shit.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.