Tis The Season

Guess who made it that much easier for you to kill yourself? That’s right, I did.

Suicide Season Is Upon Us--Don't Get Left Out

Forever you’ve been tying and retying the same piece of rope into a noose so it looks just perfect, scouting out the sturdiest place in your house to use it, going through all your chairs to find the one that will get you the perfect height off the floor, probably even went to Wal-Mart and picked out the perfect stationary to hold your final thoughts to this world, but up until now you couldn’t find the perfect way to tell everyone when you decided to finally do it so you just kept putting it off and putting it off.

Well wait no more. I added 2 new reasons in my suicide note generator. Surely, by now the thing must be all encompassing of every reason anyone would want to kill themselves. That means your’s is in there, just dig around and find the one that’s right for you.

The additions include a broken heart and maintaining your honor. Honestly, I don’t know what you’re waiting for. The letters are just a couple clicks away and you’re reading this site which means you obviously have nothing of value in your life nor is your life of value to the world. Go ahead save everyone the space and off yourself.

Really, what more do you want from me?

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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When I'm president I'm going to make it a law that everyone learn that the executive branch doesn't make laws. Provided of course a bill authorizing me to make that law gets introduced in the legislature, passed by both houses and delivered to me for my signature. On second thought, I'll just make it an executive order.