• Home
• About
• Advertise
Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Web Middlemen

Fuck blogs. Seriously, fuck blogs. Sister-fucking, middlemen of the internet.

Last week I found a divorce blog that was shittily written by a person you could tell thought themselves a good writer. They knew how to spell, had a big vocabulary, knew the rules of grammar and knew how to string phrases together, yet what they wrote seemed like they wrote it just so they could write something. They had nothing to say and instead just wanted to show off their writing style.

I compared it to Snoopy’s novel. I think I remember that all he did was write these attention getting phrases but without a real story, ‘It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a shot rang out. A door slammed. The maid screamed…”. No real story, just a series of good phrases. That’s how her blog and to my recollection, Snoopy’s novel were written.

To be sure though, I tried to find a couple lines of his novel to verify my memory. I figure its 2009; I can do that in 15 seconds right? Jump on google, type in ‘Snoopy’s Novel’ and I would have a list of links that provided some examples of comics that included that.

I was reserved to the fact, that this being 2009 at all that some of those links, probably even the topmost, would lead to blogs. That’s just the way the web works. When you have a billion monkeys randomly bashing on keyboards, saving their pablum to Blogspot, eventually every search you do will yield a blog posting. I’m not all right with that, but its how life and the internet now work.

Sure enough the number one result in google for ” Snoopy’s Novel” was a blog. Naively I figured to click on the link and then have the text I needed to confirm my memory. Nope. It’s a post that just provides a link to another, shittier blog that has the actual text I was looking for.

I had to go through 2 middle men to get the information I wanted. First google, which I am accustomed to, then to that worthless blog which does nothing but junk up the google results, then onto the shitty blog with the actual information I wanted.

This world wide web thing is turning into a big Amway scam. Just creating unnecessary layers to the internet between people and the information they desire. Seriously, please put down the blog and step away from the information highway. You have been bumped back down to read-only privileges. Fucking worthless middlemen bloggers.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.