I Wish I Couldn’t Tell Idiots Like You To Suck My Balls

Oh its just killing you isn’t it. You know what you think the answer is and want to write me to set me straight. Well I know what you are going to say and you’re a fucking idiot too.

I told you yesterday and I will say it again today:

There’s no reason for my balls to be outside my body. None.

My Stupid Testicles Are Still Smarter Than You

The bullshit answer you wholeheartedly swallowed without thinking about is a bunch of crapshit. Biologist say nuts are on the outside because they are very temperature sensitive and to produce sperm they need to be controlled by the scrotum which can keep the balls at a distance from the body and thus control their temperature.

Bull fucking shit.

Ovaries aren’t ‘temperature sensitive’ and they produce eggs. Neither is a fallopian tube which is where sperm meets egg and human life begins. I refuse to believe that the conditions necessary to spring life from combining cells from two people are less strict than that for making sperm.

Fuck you educated yet unthinking idiot.

Temperature sensitive–you’re a fucking idiot. Even if long ago they were this ‘temperature sensitive’ bullshit, then we should have evolved better testicles. Ones that weren’t temperature sensitive and needed this ghetto-rigged nutsack system to make them work.

That sounds like a solution my father would come up with rather than spending the extra $5 on new, good nuts.

What? The balls aren’t working because of the temperature. Well I guess we could get the newer model ones so it doesn’t matter the temperature, but I think the balls we have are just fine. I’ll just make like a contractible bag to move them up and down when they get too hot or cold. Go get me some duct tape and extra folds of skin; we can make the ones we have work.

Every fucking organ that doesn’t need to contact the outside world is safely tucked into my body. Got a hard as fuck skull around my brain. Rib cage around my heart and lungs. All my digestive organs are safely tucked into my abdomen and I am sure there’s enough room in there to spare. You couldn’t have just moved the huevos up and inside me? My worthless appendix is doing nothing but taking up space. Got yards of intestines that I am sure I wouldn’t have missed a couple inches of. My nads could have fit.

But no, my balls are on the outside for the world to take aim at. I wish I would have saved the receipt because I want my money back.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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A well rounded socially adept man has been held down and farted on, held down and farted upon and laughed while watching people hold down and fart on others. Its Sociology 101.