porkjerky plogLook Ma I Made It
Everyone dreams of somehow seeing their name in lights. Fuck that.
After 334 days, I finally get to see my name in shit. I didn’t think I was going to make it. Sure, sure I crapped a trapezoid, pooped an arrow, but I thought my name in turds was just a pipe dream.
Something only rich white people got to enjoy. Well, me being rich and white, that still may be true. But the point is; I finally did it.
After months of trying, I finally shit out that all elusive ‘S’. It had to be just the right consistency. Not too thick or it wouldn’t curl for me. Too thin and it wouldn’t even make it out my ass in one piece. And it had to be the right length. Too short and I’m stuck with yet another ‘J’. Too long and it turns into some weird mathematical symbol. Also, it had to either be the last turd out of my ass or dodge all the other poop that fell from me as it floated in my toilet as to not get hit and break in two.
It was like a soufflé or a threesome with your ex and her hot friend or an A-Team plan: Everything had to come together.
Finally after 11 months of busting my anus trying; it did. I crapped my name. Of course, I still would like to make some money on this site. If only I could crap a virgin mary or baby jesus, then I’d be rolling in it. Money, not poop.
Ok, maybe a little of both.
A shitters
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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