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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

This Is Not A Test

Wake the fuck up. There’s cheap worthless shit you need to buy. Wake the fuck up. Jesus Christ are you a communist? Why do you hate America? Don’t let the terrorist continue to win, get out there and rationalize buying shit you don’t need by its price compared to what it was and will be.

Save that pussy, lactose-intolerance bullshit for someone else. You need to get out there and buy that god damn ice cream maker that’s on sale. Why? Because its on fucking sale. Are you deaf?

Jesus Christ, you process information as well as you do lactose. I can’t believe you’re still here.

As you read this there are stores opening up and selling rightly priced crap that you and/or a loved one needs, absolutely needs, because of its price. Fuck me. Get your fat ass away from the computer and down to a retail shop a.s.a.p. already.

BOOM–Now there’s one less Guitar Hero 5 for PlayStation 3 for you to get. I hope your happy. Why do you hate the baby Jesus so much?

What? You don’t have a PlayStation 3 so buying Guitar Hero 5 for it would be a pointless? Oh you naive idiot. You’re actually proving my point with your bullshit excuses. Listen, we don’t have the time for me to show you why you not owning a PlayStation 3 is even more reason you need to rush out and buy Guitar Hero 5 for it. Just please, trust me, get out there and get it. You will thank me.

The day’s not lost, let’s just take a second to collect ourselves. I didn’t mean to raise my voice. I might have said somethings I shouldn’t have. Used a couple curse words because my emotions got the best of me. But that just demonstrates how important this is. Let’s both just take a step back, gather our thoughts, not let emotions stand in the way of reason. And discuss this logically.

Inhale.

And exhale.

Inhale. And exhale.

Ok, good, let’s start anew.

Without either of us getting worked up over it, let’s both acknowledge that there are stores out there opening right now and selling out of the shit you specifically don’t know you need yet. And now you’ll never know how much you don’t need it, because your sleepy ass is still at home browsing the internet. God fucking damn it listen to reason you stupid fucking idiot fuck. Get out there. You’re only hurting yourself by not getting three $12.95 Fry Daddies.

Really? You’re just going to sit there? I sincerely think your making a big mistake. In four years, when everyone’s holding a garage sale, impressing the shit out of their neighbors with the shit they bought today and no longer need, you are really going to look back to this morning and regret your decision.

Honestly, at this point, I’m not mad at you. Just disappointed.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.