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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Providence

Yesterday’s shitty blog made me realize that I love what slot machines represent. We use specific technologically advancements to exploit our general social stagnation.

You ever hear a story about how ancient civilizations lived–some weird nonsensical practices they did and think ‘Why would they think the world works like that? What idiots.’

I don’t.

I look around and can easily see that we are basically the same stupid people who used to pray to the god of this and the god of that, who used to think we fell off the world when we walked too far in one direction and blamed it on the devil trying to get inside the souls of women when they bled once a moon cycle.

Honestly, we haven’t progressed that far.

Sure, technologically we have advanced to the point where we can communicate instantaneously with other dipshits halfway around the world. But what do we communicate about? On a societal level we haven’t advanced at nearly the rate our technology has. Mostly we use our global communication technology to distribute pornography and insipid, hackneyed comments about our boring lives.

Sure sure, I bet some doctors or scientists or engineers are collaborating on new advancements but they are anomalies. Further, whatever advancements those few people are collaborating on will just be used by the masses of the next generation to more efficiently distribute pornography and insipid hackneyed comments about their equally boring yet technologically advanced lives.

Which is why I love slot machines. They are perfect examples of our ability to technologically advance while stagnate as a species. The computer capacity that exists in a single slot machine today is more than the entire computer capacity that existed in the world 50 years ago. We sent and returned men to the moon on significantly less cpu power than a Double Wild Cherry machine. Paradoxically, the fact that the technological power of our games of chance are so advanced proves that as a whole we really haven’t advanced.

Ask anyone, absolutely anyone; and they will tell you that you will not win if you play slot machines. Everyone knows they are set to collect more than they pay out. Every single person who ever plays them has a definite mathematical expectation of losing money. Yet these things are still in business. And business is booming.

The only explanation is that people honestly believe in fate or divine intervention. Somehow they are the chosen ones, blessed by god to not have probability applied to them. They think that they are capable of winning at a mathematically proven unwinnable venture. What gives them this hope? Is it their innate ability to be awesome at slot machines? Is it their application of a skill they have diligently mastered through years of hard work? Is it some insight into the complexities of how slot machines work that they are able to exploit?

No, its because somehow, despite concrete evidence to the contrary, they can win at an unwinnable endeavor. People somehow think that providence will cause them to beat math. Fucks keep plugging money into a machine that is proven to take more of it than it gives out because somehow they are special. If they set up their tchotchkes just right, if they wear their lucky gambling shirt, if they rub the payout area just right, if they appease these false gods some how and some reason they will be rewarded.

When ever I see people playing slot machines it really makes sense to me that past civilizations sacrificed virgins. Fuck, I’m surprised we don’t do it. I can totally see it. I mean, if you think that you can win at a slot machine why wouldn’t you think that killing a 13 year old girl would ensure a good harvest or appease the hurricane gods?

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.