porkjerky plogMirror, Mirror, Who’s The Shittiest Of Them All?
While releasing my poopbucks into the wild of Las Vegas, I took some time to smell its roses and unfortunately, saw all the turds they grew in. Vegas is and brings out the worst in people, all without them recognizing it.
That’s a compliment by the way.
I was watching the fountains at the Bellagio for the millionth time and like clockwork as soon as it started up, everyone grabbed their video cameras. How fucking pompous and self-righteous. I looked around and wondered what innate characteristic is it with people that make them think their capturing of something beautiful that someone else created somehow makes their lives meaningful? Are people that soulless and empty that somehow filming something beautiful justifies their existence and gives their lives purpose? Their mere presence and photographic evidence attesting to that presence makes them feel like they did something important in their lives?
It was a truly sad moment that brought a huge smile to my face.
I guess it’s a lot like blogs and children. Despite the fact that people’s online diaries and retarded offspring are obviously stupid to the outside world, somehow because its theirs that automatically makes them naïve to how horrible they really are.
While I was on youtube looking for shitty blogs, I wondered how many videos I would find when I searched for ‘fountains at bellagio’. I got almost 10,000. Does the world really need your shitty video of the fountains? Or do you need the world to have your shitty video of the fountains? You’re sad and pathetic. Just enjoy the show, marvel at it and don’t try to leech purpose into your life from it.
It was such a horrible realization, it made me smile. In and of itself, when you think about it, the whole idea of Vegas is awesomely shitty. If it was legal there and my home state would recognize it, I would marry Las Vegas. It’s everything I aspire to be—a reflection of how shitty humanity is. That truly is a compliment by the way.
Vegas looked at every great city in the world, every landmark that made somewhere else unique, every opulent, decadent thing ever built in the world and said, ‘Yeah that’s pretty cool–lets steal that, put a buffet, some craps tables and a shitload of alcohol inside it and see if tourists from around the world will flock here and give us an ass-ton of money. Oh and for an extra challenge lets build all that shit in the fucking desert. Sure, people are starving around the world, millions don’t have potable water, curable diseases are still running rampant in the world, but fuck all that, let’s create Awesomeville‘.
And they did.
And still are.
God love them. If somehow Vegas was destroyed and I was given enough money to rebuild it exactly as it is or use that money to cure all the world’s ills, the only thing I would think twice about was naming it Jasontown or New Las Vegas.
It’s a town that really offers nothing to the world. Again that’s a compliment and I am jealous.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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