The Watching Paint Dry Divorce Blog

It’s still divorce blog week on the porkjery.com plog. That’s right, take some time out of your busy day to look at pictures of my shit, be amused by the general idea that tons of people actually want to share their divorce with the world and be endlessly entertained by the specific stories these dipshits are telling.

Go on, treat yourself. You deserve it.

The Most Boring Divorce Ever?

Now, don’t go thinking all divorces are action-packed with Myspace stalking, hornymatches.com entrapments, physical abuse and fat ugly, stupid wives reaching enlightment by no longer making their husbands’ beds. No, no no. Some divorce blogs are more bloglike than divorcelike.

Enter the anatomy of my divorce blog. 3 posts of I-wish-I-hadn’t-gotten-married-and-instead-went-to-college-so-I-could-be-a-writer drivel. Oh my fuck its tedious. And vapid. No interesting stories, nothing humorous, nothing emotionally inspiring in any direction and for how well structured, properly grammarized and practiced the writer is, it’s so horrible written.

I really think this blog is just passages from Snoopy’s novel:

He showed me the letter. Typewritten. Addressed to him at his place of employment. An anonymous letter. Describing the night he went out with his friends from work while I remained home with the kids. A letter in which he was chastised for having an affair with his assistant.

Look at that passage, it has potential. There’s probably a good story behind it. I’m willing to put up with your pretentious writing style to find out more about this affair. But no. That’s it. Nothing follows it even remotely intriguing. She doesn’t go bat-shit crazy and cut the crotch out of all his pants, they don’t have a huge verbose fight, she doesn’t revenge fuck him. Nothing.

Words don’t make a good story, a good story makes a good story. And while this blog is long on words, its short on story. Three posts, tons of words, but no story to be found. This is the most boring divorce ever. It’s like some people don’t realize that the sole purpose they were put on Earth was to entertain me.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.

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If god didn’t want us to laugh at the suffering of others, then why’d he make other people’s pain so enjoyable?