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The Nomenclature Of Lovemaking

Kids today. They just throw out terms to be cool. Misusing them however they feel. For ‘shock value’ if you will. They have no regard for the historical context and underlying tomes of how and why certain phrases were introduced into the lexicon.

Certain phrases were first coined so that specific feelings, ideas and actions could be verbally communicated. However, every generation evolves the language. While that generally means expanding it, it also means the language effectively contracts by making synonyms out of words that once were distinct.

For example, in my day when you were making love to your soul mate, the person you pledged your undying love to, the one you were going to spend eternity with, when you and they were making sweet beautiful love and you punched that cunt in the back of the head while your dick was reaming their ass, we had a term for that specific act. That particular act of lovemaking was called a ‘donkey punch’.

Now though, that simple amorous phrase has been bastardized. It was a victim of its popularity. It was so great a term with such infrequent valid use, people are now shoehorning it into sentences and ideas it doesn’t belong just so they can use it. Its now synonymous with ‘bitch slap’ which itself was bastardized from its original meaning of a disciplinary action a pimp took upon one of his employees. Now both ‘donkey punch’ and ‘bitch slap’ are used to mean any admonishment by anyone upon another.

Or worse, it’s a political statement. About an eighth of the blog posts with the term ‘donkey punch’ in them in last 2 years also have the word ‘Obama’. Yet another reason why everyone should unregister to vote.

In the last 2 years, in blogs, the term ‘donkey punch” has been used a total of 16,482 times, which, is probably a factor of 1,000 off the actual number of times a biblical donkey punch has been executed during lovemaking over the same time period. Of course on a positive note, it turns out its also been used 10 times more often on blogs than the term ‘sexual abstinence’, so I guess the teeny boppers aren’t all that retarded.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.