porkjerky plogWriting This Post About Writing This Post
Guess what dickshafts, I am trumping your boring pathetic blog posts about your boring pathetic lives. All you fucks who have ever blogged about essentially nothing, I am going to show you how it’s done.
Right now I am writing this blog post. How fucking riveting is that? A blog post about writing this blog post I am writing.
While I am writing it right now, it all started yesterday when I unfortunately found hundreds of thousands of posts that contained phrases that related to boring every day activities. Phrases like ‘I just got off work’, ‘going to bed’, ‘brushing my teeth’. Somehow, boring pathetic piece of shit bloggers thought it necessary to let the world know abut the minutiae of their boring pathetic piece of shit lives.
Complete vapidness. It’s like they are grasping at anything they did in their life so they can blog about it, thus give their boring pathetic piece of shit lives meaning. At that point people are almost blogging just to be blogging.
Almost that is.
I found a way to out do them. And I am typing it as I type this. Normally, the next sentence would start ‘As an aside…’, but its going to be about writing this blog post I am writing so there is no fourth wall to break (actually I think I will leave it in but strike through it). As an aside, (pretty fucking clever huh?) I don’t know why I put things in parenthesis, this whole fucking thing is parenthetical (even more fucking clever huh?).
I would be remiss in writing this blog post about writing this blog post if I didn’t tell you what I am not going to write about. I’m not writing about the shit I took today. Nor how I woke up, showered, took things from and returned things to the refrigerator, which shoe I put on first, if I left my house through the garage or front door, what station I had the radio in the car on, how long I had to wait at the traffic signals on my drive, how many potato chips I ate, how many hours I spent sitting on my fat ass, how often I looked outside or any of the other million things everyone does in a typical day.
Nope, all those things are way too exciting and substantial for this blog post that I am currently writing. Ubervapid. That’s my goal.
I am jacking up the mundanity a level. I am writing this post about writing this post I am writing. Yeah, I am taking your mundane pathetic life and lowering it an excitement level.
Without this blog post I am writing I wouldn’t have anything to write about. Creativity and banality have finally intersected. The literary singularity is neigh.
And now I am done writing this blog post about writing this blog post I am writing.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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