porkjerky plogArchive for July, 2009
One Giant Circlejerk For Mankind
No man, or woman for that matter, has walked on the moon or any other celestial body other than Earth in my lifetime. Breath that in, digest it, mull it over, roll it in a tortilla, sprinkle it with some cinnamon, batter it in cake mix, deep fry it, cover it with powder sugar, glaze […]
A Foreshadowing Crap
Here’s an email of mine that went out to a bunch of experts on the subject: Hello, my name is Jason and I want to see if I can grow a flower or fruit bearing plant in one of my functioning toilets. After researching farming techniques, I have learned that technically this will not be […]
A Shitty Cocksucking Blog
After embarrassingly admitting I have never learned a porn star’s name, I decided to do what any decent human being would—I went out and got a favorite. Her name is Cora. And I don’t know which is better, her blog or her cocksucking. Unfortunately for her, I don’t give out Porkjerky.com Shitty Cocksucking Awards so […]
Poopus Maximus
This poo defies logic. It knows no bounds. It isn’t governed by the same laws of reason as we are. You can’t stop or control it; you can only hope to contain it. And my toilet just barely does. Using an officially sanctioned commode, I don’t think its physically possible to make a straight shit […]
Once Upon A Porn Star
I must be getting homosexualer in my old age. First I don’t liked shaved pussies, bleached assholes, girls struggling to put their own tits in their mouths or bicameral legislatures. Now, not only can’t I even name one porn star, I don’t care to. With that and the rate hair is randomly appearing on my […]
Watch Me Watch
Good idea retardfuck, lets see exactly how far we can beat this into the ground. This is my reaction text to your reaction video of other people doing stuff. Hopefully someone will have an interpretative dance reaction to my reaction text to your reaction video of people doing stuff. Then, god willing, to that interpretative […]
The Calculus Of Really Fucking Disgusting
Here’s a deeply philosophical question that I don’t think has ever been posed and you might not like the answer to: How much more money would you want to eat a turd from someone else than one of your own? Now let’s jump past the holier than thou part of this discussion where I have […]
Art De Mon Derriere
I use public restrooms to show my wit Poems, drawings, etchings done as I sit. I think its art Straight from my heart Especially the landscapes, done with shit.
But Seriously Folks…
My friends, I would like to take just one post out of this shitty plog to talk to you about something serious. Something that affects nearly all of us; a scourge on this country that we must finally confront. In these trying times it’s on the forefront of all our minds. Something we have been […]
Fuck Mud Pies
Who wants a peanut-filled, chocolate funnel cake?
