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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

A Shitty Cocksucking Blog

After embarrassingly admitting I have never learned a porn star’s name, I decided to do what any decent human being would—I went out and got a favorite. Her name is Cora.

And I don’t know which is better, her blog or her cocksucking. Unfortunately for her, I don’t give out Porkjerky.com Shitty Cocksucking Awards so she will have to settle for an Intermittent Porkjerky.com Shitty Blog Award.

The Porn Star Cora Blog is awesome. Unlike her cocksucking, what her blog lacks in quantity it makes up for in quality. There is just one post and it’s about her attempt to make her father proud and suck off 200 guys for a world record.

And yes Randal, that’s 200 cocks in a row. Daddy’s little angel.

Before the exciting conclusion to her unquenchable cock quest, let’s review some of the shitter things about her blog. #1 it’s hosted on blogspot, proving once again any idiot with 5 minutes, a keyboard and 200 cocks can make a blog. #2 the blog is 2 months old and only has 1 post. #3 the one post it does have is so awesome.

Now the exciting conclusion: Unfortunately, the old record still stands. She didn’t make it. She petered out. Her eyes were bigger than her mouth. She sucked. She just couldn’t stomach it. She choked. She shot her load too soon.

Around cock 75 she started wheezing and couldn’t breath. It was so bad in fact, they took her to the hospital. The blog didn’t say if guys 76-200 got their money back, a rain check or a bumped up to first class.

Don’t get down on yourself Cora. You may not have come close to touching the cocksucking record, but you touched all of our souls and earned something more prestigious than a record for putting dicks in your mouth; a Randomly Given Porkjerky.com Shitty Blog Award.

You will always be the #1 cocksucker in our hearts. Congratulations.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.