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The Calculus Of Really Fucking Disgusting

Here’s a deeply philosophical question that I don’t think has ever been posed and you might not like the answer to:

How much more money would you want to eat a turd from someone else than one of your own?

Now let’s jump past the holier than thou part of this discussion where I have to prove that yes, there is in fact an amount of money you would accept to eat a turd, regardless of its origin. We’re all whores so there is a price. Yours might be significantly higher than mine which might be significantly higher than a homeless guy’s which would be significantly higher than the 2 girls 1 cup chicks. The fact of the matter is, for the right amount of money we’d all be willing to chow down on a piece of shit.

Now, that specific amount is really immaterial to this discussion. What I want to know is once a price point has been established for you eating your own shit, is the amount of money you would want for eating another person’s crap that much different?

I don’t think so.

Obviously eating someone elses shit has got to be worse than eating your own. However, once your That’s-Fucking-Disgusting threshold has been reached everything is the same price. Eating your own shit is past that threshold. So, while eating someone elses shit is worse than eating your own shit, since they are both past your That’s-Fucking-Disgusting threshold they would effectively take the same amount of money for you to do.

Once that line is crossed everything is virtually the same price no matter how disgusting the acts are relative to another. In fact, I am certain you would suck off your dad for that same amount of money. Or kill a homeless guy. Or chop off your feet, tattoo ‘fuck niggers’ all over your face, eat at White Castle, firebomb a school or anything else past your That’s-Fucking-Disgusting threshold. All for the same amount as the least disgusting of that list.

At some point while some are far more disgusting than others, they all have the same price. They may be comparatively worse, they have the same monetary value to you. Mainly because the amount of the least disgusting one is so large.

So your price to eat your own shit is equal to your price to eat someone else’s shit is equal to your price to be video taped eating someone else’s shit is equal to your price for showing doing at that plus showing the tape to your parents. Each thing is exponentially more disgusting that the prior one, yet they are all the same amount.

Mathematically speaking, starting at That’s-Fucking-Disgusting and moving towards Infinitely-Fucking-Disgusting, the cost for you to do it remains unchanged. A corollary of that is for every person there exists a That’s-Fucking-Disgusting Constant which represents the amount of money it would take that particular individual to do anything.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.