porkjerky plogWho Moved My Porn?
Here’s a weird one. I was searching for porn on the internet and accidentally stumbled upon an interesting news story. I don’t think that has ever happened in the history of man.
I remember searching for ‘manila folders’ one time and getting taken to a site with platinum blonde asians shove their own tits in their mouths (Just to be clear that’s not sexy right? Maybe I’m gay, but a girl putting her tits in her mouth is neat and all but has never gotten my dick hard. Its not a big turn on for anyone except the girl herself who is only turned on because she thinks you’re being turned on. Right? Not to sound like a 50 year old shrivled cunt jesus freak, but pornography really does have some negative effects on our culture—mainly telling the unthinking masses what to find stimulating. ‘I saw it in a porno so it has to be hot’. ‘I can’t believe there was a time when I actually had hair on my genitalia, good thing I got educated on what’s attractive by watching all those movies.’, ‘It hurst like a bitch and burns, but I have to bleach my asshole because that’s what all the stars are doing nowadays’). Then there was the time I was looking up how to cook an artichoke, got directed to a site that was probably even illegal in Thailand, and had to physically destroy my hard drive to remove the evidence of those surely illegal images.
That’s the way the internet works, not the other way around. You’re not suppose to find an article you actually want to read when you are searching for an article you actually want to read, much less when you are explicitly looking for porn.
To misparaphrase a very wise russian philosopher: The internet; what a country.
Anywho, the article, which I forgot the link to (google: ‘fat black trannies with diarrhea’ and you should get it, or maybe it was ‘little dicked redheads being sodomized by horses’, I forget), was about this dude who was deaf his whole life, but then had a surgery to give him hearing.
That has got to be a let down. Probably a lot like being adopted and searching and searching for your birth mom for 50 years, then finally finding her only to discover that she’s an illiterate, jailed crack whore with Parkinson’s.
Sure sure, hearings great for stuff like good music and intelligent conversation, but when does that happen? Most of the things my ears detect is crap or cliché.
Unfortunately that’s something you don’t start to learn until you’re 14. Slowly you start to realize that people are fucking idiots and have the same conversations day in and day out using the same phrases day in and day out and then you recognize that most people talk not even to hear themselves talk, because god knows people don’t even listen to themselves, but just so that they can talk and pretend others are listening.
So much communication is a play. Not rehearsed, but staged like a shitty improv comedy show. Ok, I say a trite cliché to you about the weather, you answer with the appropriate trite cliché in response. We both pretend to laugh, talk about the weather and how horrible they still are at predicting it. Throw in a couple stock lines about about how terrible a local sports team is and we are done. That’s the insipid play we take part in every day in this theatrical production called our boring lives.
The guy who never had hearing but just got it, is going to get a speed course in that and realize he wasn’t missing anything all along. Sort of like how everyone is topically jealous of jews at Christmas because they have 8 nights of presents, but then you find out they get crap like new yarmulkes and dradels and you don’t feel so envious.
Yeah, hearing is overrated. It looks a lot better on paper than it actually is.
No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.
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