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Current Mood: Shitty (sweet Jesus H. Fuck I am witty)

Only You Can Prevent Fecal Incontinence

I know it can get discolored and AMA recommends you bleach it so you can retain that healthly vibrant asshole you had when you were 18, but what about its elactisicty? I mean we all heard, or started, that story in high school about the girl last prom who got fucked with the base of a Jack Daniels bottle and had to have her pussy medically sewn back together.

Or was that just my high school?

I mean, sure, no one believed it, but it was fun making fun of her the next school year and wishing it actually happened. However, that was the more innocent time of the early 90’s. In 2009 though, with the shit I’ve seen on the internet, I’m sure its happened. And not just vaginally.

So, I google a few things and what do I found; fecal incontinence. You can in fact ream out your asshole or at least fuck up (figuratively, in some cases via literally) your sphincter.

Now you have to read between the lines and lookup some big medical words, but the truth is, yes, you can fuck your ass up by getting your ass fucked. Oh, Wikipedia says that constipation, drugs, diet and some other things can cause your pooper to seep, but then it mentions ‘fecal impactions’ and ‘Lateral internal sphincterotomy’.

The former means your shit gets pushed in real tight and the latter is a medical procedure for fixing ‘anal fissures’ which are caused by unnatural cracks or tears in the anal cavity.

Both of which can be caused by Jack Daniels Bottleitis as I like to call it.

No one gives a fourth of a cum covered turd what you think, but please don't let that stop you from spreading your insightful wit to the world by commenting below. Or fuck, you're such a pussy-eating faggot you're probably interested in the rss feed of this shitty site. Oy vey.